Thursday, March 13, 2008

When A Man Can’t Commit

Are you dating a man who won’t come right out and say “no,” but never quite gets around to saying “yes”?

My grandma convinced me at a very early age that if a man isn’t married by age 30, you should write him off because “it ain’t gonna happen.”  Granted, times have changed, but the concept of commitment has not. 

Today, more and more people tend to marry older, often because both women and men strive to finish their education and become financially independent prior to making a commitment.  Nevertheless, the issue of commitment remains a thorny one for many couples.
women over 40

Let’s fast-forward a decade and see where we stand.  Suppose that you, as a fabulously forty sorority sister, are dating someone your age or older who has never been married.  I won’t be the one to say a 40-year old single male will never stand before the altar.  But let’s get real here.  Anyone that old who refuses to commit has real issues.

At the same time, I would never advise anyone not to date a man that age who has never been married.  But you need to see him for who he really is.  He might be the nicest, brightest guy on the planet, but you have to be smart and observant.  Don’t fall into the trap of making excuses on his behalf when you speak to your friends.  And don’t try to change the subject when they ask why his other relationships didn’t work out.  Your friends have your best interests at heart.  Listen carefully to his stories and don’t be biased.  Remember, every story has two sides to it. 

Finally, give yourself a timeline and stick to it.  If he refuses to commit, you’re better off walking away from the relationship.  Not because your biological clock is ticking, and not because you can’t be without a man.  Quite simply, your time and your life are too valuable to waste.

As a fabulously forty & beyond you are unique and you deserve the best.  If he can’t give that to you, it’s time to take a detour.  Say sayonara, move on….and never look back!

All the best,

Join us as at Fabulously40 as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives.

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