Sometimes despite the fact when everything is going our way, we anticipate that something bad is about to happen. We even ask ourselves is to day the day?
If we could see into the future beforehand, our lives would be pain and worry free. But we can’t, can we?
Actually, we can, here is how:
Stop the negative thought process, just let it go.
Don’t get caught up in ‘”your reality” of daily overload.
Clear your mind that will allow you to make better choices.
It’s the easiest thing to be a victim. It’s so much harder to have a positive attitude at all times, but I assure you it can be done.
Let today be the day you start the positive thought process.
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Stress Free Thanksgiving
Throughout history, harvest festivals and thanksgiving celebrations were held by the ancient Greeks, the Romans, the Hebrews, the Chinese, and the Egyptians. Centuries later, we still gather with family and friends at this time of year to say a prayer and give thanks for the earth’s bountiful blessings.
For many years, the above scenario described most of my Thanksgivings. In fact, every year I drove myself (and everyone else) to exhaustion with my elaborate preparations. Worse, the stress started long before any of the guests showed up at the door.
Each year we invited 23 people, because that’s how many could fit at our formal dining room table. And that’s where the stress started. Who should we invite this year? Who will get their feelings hurt because they weren’t invited? No matter whom we invited, it seemed that someone important always got left out.
After agonizing over those decisions, the invitations then had to be designed and mailed -- another time-consuming and stressful activity. God forbid I should entertain the idea of buying ready-made invitations! No, they had to be custom designed and printed in order to be good enough for my family and friends. And of course the house had to be decorated and spotlessly cleaned.
I always began cooking three days ahead because I insisted on preparing everything from scratch, including the bread and chocolate truffles. For some reason it was not permissible to buy a loaf of the best bread or ready-made dough. Even with all the advance preparations, when Thursday arrived I was up at 5 a.m. and in the kitchen scrambling to get all the food cooked and ready to go. By the time our guests arrived at 5 pm., I was ready to tell them all off and go to sleep.
That’s when the real fun began! Someone needed this drink or that juice, this spice or that seasoning, or some other stupid thing that wasn’t on the table. I ran around in circles trying to be the perfect hostess, and when the guests finally departed, my husband and I cleaned for 24 hours.
When it was all over, the only thing I was thankful for was that I didn’t have to do it again for another 12 months!
This went on for many years, until after one particularly hectic Thanksgiving feast my husband announced that he had had enough. “From now on,” he proclaimed, “we will no longer be in town for Thanksgiving. Instead, we will celebrate this wonderful holiday somewhere outside of the country.” (That way, I would not get any ideas.)
Being an obedient wife, I obliged. My husband took the matter into his hands and we now spend every Thanksgiving weekend in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Some years our parents and friends join us; other years it’s just the six of us. We eat whole grilled fish instead of turkey, and everyone has a grand, stress-free time.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you ditch your family and friends and run away to Mexico. But ladies, please, the time has come to stop stressing ourselves out over this or any other holiday.
If you insist on staying home and cooking, make it easy on yourself. If you haven’t already heard, many grocery stores offer whole complete Thanksgiving dinners ready to go. You simply tell them how many people you need to feed and they do all the cooking for you. All you have to do is drive to the store and pick everything up on Thanksgiving Day.
If you still want to cook, don’t be afraid to cut a few corners. Buy the loaf of bread at your local bakery. No one will notice that you didn’t make it yourself. Use Pepperidge Farm ready-made stuffing and cranberry sauce in a can. If you’re making the turkey, marinate it ahead of time and place it in the fridge. Try to do as much as possible in advance so that you have nothing to do except put things in the oven on the actual day. That way, you can spend more time decorating your feast than actually cooking it.
Before your guests arrive, take a nap for 20 minutes, followed by a hot shower. Do your make up, hair and nails, and please remember why everyone is coming over. This is a holiday in which we give thanks for the things we have and the people around us. Let’s enjoy our family and friends and look forward to the next year.
Warning
This “laid-back” approach may not appeal to anyone younger than 40. (Like I said in my last article, wisdom comes slowly.) But if you’re looking for a more joyful and less stressful Thanksgiving holiday, it just might work for you.
Cheers, Yana
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
Unfortunately, the many hours of slaving in the kitchen, preparing the house for the guests and getting everything organized often makes us tired, agitated and stressed out. By the time the guests arrive, we are too worn down and out of breath to enjoy the holiday and the company of the ones we love.
This Thanksgiving, I propose something different.
For many years, the above scenario described most of my Thanksgivings. In fact, every year I drove myself (and everyone else) to exhaustion with my elaborate preparations. Worse, the stress started long before any of the guests showed up at the door.
Each year we invited 23 people, because that’s how many could fit at our formal dining room table. And that’s where the stress started. Who should we invite this year? Who will get their feelings hurt because they weren’t invited? No matter whom we invited, it seemed that someone important always got left out.
After agonizing over those decisions, the invitations then had to be designed and mailed -- another time-consuming and stressful activity. God forbid I should entertain the idea of buying ready-made invitations! No, they had to be custom designed and printed in order to be good enough for my family and friends. And of course the house had to be decorated and spotlessly cleaned.
I always began cooking three days ahead because I insisted on preparing everything from scratch, including the bread and chocolate truffles. For some reason it was not permissible to buy a loaf of the best bread or ready-made dough. Even with all the advance preparations, when Thursday arrived I was up at 5 a.m. and in the kitchen scrambling to get all the food cooked and ready to go. By the time our guests arrived at 5 pm., I was ready to tell them all off and go to sleep.
That’s when the real fun began! Someone needed this drink or that juice, this spice or that seasoning, or some other stupid thing that wasn’t on the table. I ran around in circles trying to be the perfect hostess, and when the guests finally departed, my husband and I cleaned for 24 hours.
When it was all over, the only thing I was thankful for was that I didn’t have to do it again for another 12 months!
A Baja Thanksgiving
This went on for many years, until after one particularly hectic Thanksgiving feast my husband announced that he had had enough. “From now on,” he proclaimed, “we will no longer be in town for Thanksgiving. Instead, we will celebrate this wonderful holiday somewhere outside of the country.” (That way, I would not get any ideas.)
Being an obedient wife, I obliged. My husband took the matter into his hands and we now spend every Thanksgiving weekend in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Some years our parents and friends join us; other years it’s just the six of us. We eat whole grilled fish instead of turkey, and everyone has a grand, stress-free time.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you ditch your family and friends and run away to Mexico. But ladies, please, the time has come to stop stressing ourselves out over this or any other holiday.
If you insist on staying home and cooking, make it easy on yourself. If you haven’t already heard, many grocery stores offer whole complete Thanksgiving dinners ready to go. You simply tell them how many people you need to feed and they do all the cooking for you. All you have to do is drive to the store and pick everything up on Thanksgiving Day.
If you still want to cook, don’t be afraid to cut a few corners. Buy the loaf of bread at your local bakery. No one will notice that you didn’t make it yourself. Use Pepperidge Farm ready-made stuffing and cranberry sauce in a can. If you’re making the turkey, marinate it ahead of time and place it in the fridge. Try to do as much as possible in advance so that you have nothing to do except put things in the oven on the actual day. That way, you can spend more time decorating your feast than actually cooking it.
Before your guests arrive, take a nap for 20 minutes, followed by a hot shower. Do your make up, hair and nails, and please remember why everyone is coming over. This is a holiday in which we give thanks for the things we have and the people around us. Let’s enjoy our family and friends and look forward to the next year.
Warning
This “laid-back” approach may not appeal to anyone younger than 40. (Like I said in my last article, wisdom comes slowly.) But if you’re looking for a more joyful and less stressful Thanksgiving holiday, it just might work for you.
Cheers, Yana
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
How to Remember All Birthdays, Anniversaries and Holidays
Everyone likes to feel special—it’s part of our human nature! Why not develop a personal system that remembers birthdays, family and friends wedding anniversaries and a schedule that sends holiday cards on time, every year, so that the process is fun, rather than, a dreaded experience!.
Friends and acquaintances are amazed by my ability to remember everyone’s birthday or anniversary—some cannot believe that I actually have these dates written down. The days of having the ability to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday are long past (“Al” Alzheimer and I are becoming faster than I want friends these days!).. I do, however make it a point to remember and record those significant dates when I meet new acquaintances . I record a person’s birthday and mailing/email address into my Pocket PC phone device, which I later sync with my computer at home.
In the days before computers, that kind of recording was transferred year-to-year ,by hand, into my “little black book”, and honestly , I miss those times. If, for some reason you forgot a birthday, you at least had the excuse that you did not glance at your Day Timer. Now the cell phone will ring, the computer will have pop-up menus, and unless one is visually and auditory-impaired, there is no excuse TODAY!
When my first child was born, I decided that I would send a holiday card, along with her photograph, every year to all of my family and friends. My husband thought I was a bit crazy and he would say, “ . . . besides, no one appreciates all your hard work and effort,” but I strongly disagreed. Almost twenty years later (and equal number of holiday cards delivered), I can only say that as my immediate circle of family and friends grew, so too did the number of holiday cards in my mailbox. Most of my family and friends thought it was a great idea to keep in touch and they too, reciprocated by sending photographs of their growing family. And “God forbid . . . ” someone did not receive a holiday card—I would never hear the end of it!
Many years ago I designed a system for sending holiday cards on time which included the participation of the entire family. I have refined this system over the years, and by doing so I no longer have to worry about being late and stressed. Everyone of my four children remind me in November that we need to discuss the design and place the order for our cards. A few years ago, they not only ordered them, but they began designing the cards themselves—in other words they took over the process and were proud of their work—I was too! As a matter of fact, that is how my son became computer savvy—he had no choice in the matter. Each year I wanted a “unique” card, and each year ended up being better than the prior one. I certainly did not want to pay top prices for someone else to design it when I had the recourses right at home! My son’s only alternative was to learn how to work the graphs of his computer.
I promise you that if you follow these simple steps, the holiday card writing process will be very easy and rewarding for everyone in the family—it is a great activity for all ages!
Please keep in mind that Chanukah has different date of celebration every year, some times it is as early as the first week of December, because the celebration lasts eight days even if you mail out your cards on the 7th of December you will still be on time.
Decide as a family if you are going to use a group photograph on your holiday card. If so, make sure you take that picture no later than during the Thanksgiving break—the children are homework free and are spending lots of time at home.
* BY November 30th :Process and chose a photograph,. Print as many as needed.
* BY December 1st: Buy a “ready” card so that the photo can be pasted on. Buy cards inexpensively at Costco or any other discount store. Keep in mind you can get a “super deal” if you buy cards right after the holidays and store them for the following year—it’s a double bonus!
* BY December 3rd:Update your address book constantly throughout the year be diligent about this. If you have followed this advice you will accomplish two things; your address book is current and up-to-date; and when you need your address book during the hectic holidays you do not have to hunt down every little piece of scrape paper you secretly stored –the information is ready at a “click”.
Once you have your updated list, print out the information along with labels or envelopes that you plan to use.
* BY December 5th: One night after homework, gather your children around the dining room table (remember any child 3-years or older can participate). Place the youngest in charge of pasting the picture on the front or inside cover of the card (depending on the layout everyone agreed to). If it is a little off center—everyone you send the card to will know it was made by the loving hands of your future graphic artist-in-training,
Rachael (age 4). Have them place the labels and stamps on each envelop.
* BY December 6th: Now take this stack of “done” cards and envelops and gather around the table one last time and have everyone sign each card along with a personal greeting from you.Place each card in its’ appropriate envelope, and place a check mark on your list of names and addresses that was printed earlier. (do not seal the envelop just yet)
You are now ready to send you cards, so why are they not sealed? Well, it is only December 6th, if you are sending your cards for Christmas you have at least two weeks to get them sent out on time. What if someone had something special happen to them from the time that you addressed the card? Or what if that someone became sick, or is feeling blue? Built into this system is flexibility to add, at the last minute, words of encouragement and care.
When you seal each card (a chore that your children or grandchildren love doing), make sure to place the second check mark on the printed sheet, with the names and addresses, just to make sure that you have addressed, stamped, & sealed each card. Now, go deliver them to the post office!
Buying cards in bulk is a real score. Whenever I see a nice box of “Thank You”, “Birthday” or “Anniversary” cards, I buy few boxes at a time. And always remember to have plenty of stamps on hand either in a roll of 100’s or in decorative sheets.
Costco sells card sets for $15.00 dollars, and hand-made varieties for every occasion. This is a great value, and the cards are awesome!
I do not send a birthday card to everyone in my address book. Just like most of us we are all too busy. However, there are a few people in life that deserve some recognition. For those in that “special” category I take the time, placing “life” on hold for 5 minutes, and write a hand-written wish for them on their birthday or anniversary.
To do this, print your calendar on the first of each month. Select the ones that will receive cards, address them, write you wishes, place a sticker on which day the card has to be mailed, but again, do not seal the card. Remember, anything can happen between the 1st of the month to the time that you go to the post office.. This way a few special lines can be added to your greeting without having to re-write the card.
On the correct day mail the card (allow for 2 days for local delivery and 5 days for across the country), and call on the day of the birthday or anniversary. Guaranteed you will not only make their day, but yours as well!
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
Friends and acquaintances are amazed by my ability to remember everyone’s birthday or anniversary—some cannot believe that I actually have these dates written down. The days of having the ability to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday are long past (“Al” Alzheimer and I are becoming faster than I want friends these days!).. I do, however make it a point to remember and record those significant dates when I meet new acquaintances . I record a person’s birthday and mailing/email address into my Pocket PC phone device, which I later sync with my computer at home.
In the days before computers, that kind of recording was transferred year-to-year ,by hand, into my “little black book”, and honestly , I miss those times. If, for some reason you forgot a birthday, you at least had the excuse that you did not glance at your Day Timer. Now the cell phone will ring, the computer will have pop-up menus, and unless one is visually and auditory-impaired, there is no excuse TODAY!
When my first child was born, I decided that I would send a holiday card, along with her photograph, every year to all of my family and friends. My husband thought I was a bit crazy and he would say, “ . . . besides, no one appreciates all your hard work and effort,” but I strongly disagreed. Almost twenty years later (and equal number of holiday cards delivered), I can only say that as my immediate circle of family and friends grew, so too did the number of holiday cards in my mailbox. Most of my family and friends thought it was a great idea to keep in touch and they too, reciprocated by sending photographs of their growing family. And “God forbid . . . ” someone did not receive a holiday card—I would never hear the end of it!
Many years ago I designed a system for sending holiday cards on time which included the participation of the entire family. I have refined this system over the years, and by doing so I no longer have to worry about being late and stressed. Everyone of my four children remind me in November that we need to discuss the design and place the order for our cards. A few years ago, they not only ordered them, but they began designing the cards themselves—in other words they took over the process and were proud of their work—I was too! As a matter of fact, that is how my son became computer savvy—he had no choice in the matter. Each year I wanted a “unique” card, and each year ended up being better than the prior one. I certainly did not want to pay top prices for someone else to design it when I had the recourses right at home! My son’s only alternative was to learn how to work the graphs of his computer.
I promise you that if you follow these simple steps, the holiday card writing process will be very easy and rewarding for everyone in the family—it is a great activity for all ages!
Please keep in mind that Chanukah has different date of celebration every year, some times it is as early as the first week of December, because the celebration lasts eight days even if you mail out your cards on the 7th of December you will still be on time.
ORGANIZING 101:
TIMELINE
Decide as a family if you are going to use a group photograph on your holiday card. If so, make sure you take that picture no later than during the Thanksgiving break—the children are homework free and are spending lots of time at home.
* BY November 30th :Process and chose a photograph,. Print as many as needed.
* BY December 1st: Buy a “ready” card so that the photo can be pasted on. Buy cards inexpensively at Costco or any other discount store. Keep in mind you can get a “super deal” if you buy cards right after the holidays and store them for the following year—it’s a double bonus!
* BY December 3rd:Update your address book constantly throughout the year be diligent about this. If you have followed this advice you will accomplish two things; your address book is current and up-to-date; and when you need your address book during the hectic holidays you do not have to hunt down every little piece of scrape paper you secretly stored –the information is ready at a “click”.
Once you have your updated list, print out the information along with labels or envelopes that you plan to use.
* BY December 5th: One night after homework, gather your children around the dining room table (remember any child 3-years or older can participate). Place the youngest in charge of pasting the picture on the front or inside cover of the card (depending on the layout everyone agreed to). If it is a little off center—everyone you send the card to will know it was made by the loving hands of your future graphic artist-in-training,
Rachael (age 4). Have them place the labels and stamps on each envelop.
* BY December 6th: Now take this stack of “done” cards and envelops and gather around the table one last time and have everyone sign each card along with a personal greeting from you.Place each card in its’ appropriate envelope, and place a check mark on your list of names and addresses that was printed earlier. (do not seal the envelop just yet)
You are now ready to send you cards, so why are they not sealed? Well, it is only December 6th, if you are sending your cards for Christmas you have at least two weeks to get them sent out on time. What if someone had something special happen to them from the time that you addressed the card? Or what if that someone became sick, or is feeling blue? Built into this system is flexibility to add, at the last minute, words of encouragement and care.
When you seal each card (a chore that your children or grandchildren love doing), make sure to place the second check mark on the printed sheet, with the names and addresses, just to make sure that you have addressed, stamped, & sealed each card. Now, go deliver them to the post office!
Birthday and Anniversary Cards
Buying cards in bulk is a real score. Whenever I see a nice box of “Thank You”, “Birthday” or “Anniversary” cards, I buy few boxes at a time. And always remember to have plenty of stamps on hand either in a roll of 100’s or in decorative sheets.
Costco sells card sets for $15.00 dollars, and hand-made varieties for every occasion. This is a great value, and the cards are awesome!
I do not send a birthday card to everyone in my address book. Just like most of us we are all too busy. However, there are a few people in life that deserve some recognition. For those in that “special” category I take the time, placing “life” on hold for 5 minutes, and write a hand-written wish for them on their birthday or anniversary.
To do this, print your calendar on the first of each month. Select the ones that will receive cards, address them, write you wishes, place a sticker on which day the card has to be mailed, but again, do not seal the card. Remember, anything can happen between the 1st of the month to the time that you go to the post office.. This way a few special lines can be added to your greeting without having to re-write the card.
On the correct day mail the card (allow for 2 days for local delivery and 5 days for across the country), and call on the day of the birthday or anniversary. Guaranteed you will not only make their day, but yours as well!
REMEMBER—this method works if you actually follow it!
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
When Angelina Jolie Lips are Not a Good Thing
When we launched Fabulously40.com, our marketing director urged me not to write any blogs, articles or postings that addressed the topic of how our bodies begin to deteriorate as we age. At 30-something, she considered it a depressing aspect of getting older, and insisted that no one wanted to hear or talk about. Reluctantly, I agreed.
When I suddenly started having “eye” issues, I said nothing. When I began soaking myself in oils and creams because my skin was too dry, I didn’t mention it. When sciatic pain began to wake me up at night, I didn’t write about it. When I began to get pink blotches on my face, I masked it with makeup and tried to ignore it. When I somehow tore my rotator cuff and the doctor suggested surgery, again I remained silent. Every time a doctor announced that another of my conditions was “chronic,” I cringed but honored my word.
Well, ladies, I will remain silent no more!
Last night I returned home from a business meeting, exhausted from driving for several hours. Skipping dinner, I decided to go straight to bed. I didn’t stress over my kids’ activities or next day’s chores, I just took a shower and fell asleep. When my husband came to bed, I woke up and noticed that my lips felt dry (another new condition I have acquired in the last few months). I applied some Chapstick and went peacefully back to sleep.
Three hours later, I awoke with the very unusual feeling of “dribbling” lips. I nodded off again and awoke an hour later, this time feeling like my lips were “all over my face.” I jumped out of bed, and turned on the light. The face I saw in the mirror was beyond my comprehension.
Good Lips Gone Bad
Sometime during the night, Ronald McDonald had taken over my body and adornedit with his enormous bright red lips. I looked like a woman whose lip injection treatments had gone really bad. I tried to recall what I had eaten during the day and what I had done the night before, thinking that perhaps I was having an allergic reaction. But I couldn’t come up with anything. At 3:00 in the morning, the only logical conclusion was that after so many years of marriage, I had become allergic to my husband.
Thinking that antihistamines would help, I woke up my daughter, who suffers from allergies, and borrowed a few pills. She was horrified by my appearance. I then applied all kinds of creams to my lips and face and went back to bed. When I awoke in the morning, I discovered that my lips had grown even larger and more grotesque. I mean, they looked like Angelina Jolie’s lips on steroids! Despite the gravity of the situation, I remember thinking, “Why couldn’t I wake up with her body?”
Unable to get any work done, I whined, moaned and complained for hours until my husband finally made me go to the doctor. To my great disappointment, this is what she said: “You have a very common condition among women your age. As women get older, they require a lot more liquids and oils. You need to drink at least 10 glasses of water a day, use lip moisturizer, get enough sleep and live a healthy life style. You should also consume plenty of flax seed and omega oils, along with a variety of other nutrients that I will write down for you.”
She ended her speech with a devastating statement: “I hate to disappoint you, but this could be a chronic condition.” At the sound of that hated word, I began laughing hysterically, while the poor young dermatologist looked at me in disbelief. She was probably wondering whether to prescribe loony pills instead of creams and oils.
Walking out of her office, I called two of my best friends and announced my new “condition.” Because both of them are fabulously40, they had no problem relating or sympathizing with me. We all agreed that lip injections were not for me, and even if I thought about them in the future, this was a clear sign that I should “never go there.” They were also happy to hear that I wasn’t allergic to my husband, so they didn’t have to endure another divorce.
We agreed to meet this weekend to go shopping, but not for the lingerie, shoes or accessories. Instead, our mission is to find organic flax seeds with a kick, omega oils that taste good, vitamins that will revive us, and a good book to get us through the night -- just in case insomnia kicks in.
But, ladies of the club, would we exchange all of our conditions, symptoms and aches for the wisdom that came with them? No way! Angelina Jolie may have lips to die for, but we can kill with our looks, symptoms and knowledge.
Health Tip
To make sure I get my good oils, I started to have a protein shake for breakfast every day. Not only do I get my good oils, I also get high quality protein, a very healthy fruit and good fats all in one meal. Here's the recipe:
1 cup frozen blueberries
1 scoop whey protein powder
4 capsules/1 tablespoon Udo's Choice Oil or Flax Seed Oil
1 - 2 cups nonfat milk (depending on how thick you like your shakes)
Simply pour into blender and mix well.
You can substitute any fruit you like, such as strawberries, apples, bananas, etc.
Using frozen fruit makes it into a slushy, which in my opinion, makes it taste better.
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Epiphany
Wisdom Comes Slowly
I find it absolutely amazing how the years change not only our physical and mental condition, but our personality, stamina and spunk.
Growing up, I was always a rebel. I argued, negotiated and partied, and if the opportunity to do something forbidden presented itself, I was always first in line to do it.
Proud of my rebellious nature, I remember making a promise to myself that when I become a parent I would never restrict my kids, never preach, and never demand anything of them. Ha! As soon as I become a parent I quickly turned into the biggest hypocrite on this planet, even before my children had a chance to grow into wild, hormone-filled teenagers.
Wanting to give the world to my children, I insisted on providing the environment I thought was imperative for them. Sure, they were allowed to make their own choices, as long as I defined the options they could choose from. Absolutely they could choose their own friends, as long as I approved of them. Getting bad grades was not an option, and if they did, the consequences would be swift, harsh and unfair. Who they wanted to be and what they wanted to major in was their choice. Which school they attended was mine (and my husband’s).
Looking back at my experiences with friends and colleagues, I see myself being very judgmental and vocal—it was my way or the highway. I had little patience when teaching coworkers, and no tolerance for stupidity. Sometimes I was painfully honest and hurt people along the way. I always had the best intentions, but I don’t think my honesty made people feel any better.
I’m not too proud of the way I sometimes acted during my youth. Yet, I can honestly say that those years served as a stepping-stone to arrive at where I am today.
Startling Epiphany
Recently, I wrote an article that I thought was phenomenal. It covered a topic I felt very passionate about, and it seemed like the time was right to share my thoughts with the world.
I sent the article to few of my friends and, to my surprise, received a very negative response across the board. As I read their comments, I became very defensive and even more judgmental. Who were they to question my opinion on this important subject? Couldn’t they tell I was right? And besides, writing a blog on regular basis isn’t easy. I don’t see any of them doing it!
Feeling hurt and full of righteous indignation, I decided to publish the article anyway. Who cares what others would think or say? As I said earlier, my way or the highway! It was then (fortunately), that the years of experience kicked in.
As soon as I made my decision, I was overwhelmed with a foreign feeling. A little voice inside of me said to hold off on publishing the article. No particular reason; just don’t do it. Puzzled by my reaction, I decided to take a cool shower and then go out for a walk. While walking, I mentally reviewed the article and reconsidered the constructive criticism offered by my friends. In doing so, I experienced a major epiphany.
I suddenly realized that understanding and recognizing my own faults would make me less critical of others. It became evident that I could achieve a lot more through tolerance and understanding, and that negative energy is always counter-productive. It’s better to live life with a positive attitude and zest, and it’s far more rewarding to give that opportunity to others and provide them with a positive environment to do the same.
I ended up tossing the article and began work on a different one instead. I have since come to realize that the little voice inside me was none other than the voice of maturity, which only arrives after years of experience. It still feels a bit like a stranger, but as time goes by I think we will become good friends.
My grandpa always said, “You have to go through years of being stupid until you become wise.” I always believed him but I never thought it would take this long. So now I am wondering, does it take everyone 40+ years or am I just slow?
Oh well. I figure as long as I’m still learning and growing, I must be on the right track. And as the saying goes: “It’s better late then never!”
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
I find it absolutely amazing how the years change not only our physical and mental condition, but our personality, stamina and spunk.
Growing up, I was always a rebel. I argued, negotiated and partied, and if the opportunity to do something forbidden presented itself, I was always first in line to do it.
Proud of my rebellious nature, I remember making a promise to myself that when I become a parent I would never restrict my kids, never preach, and never demand anything of them. Ha! As soon as I become a parent I quickly turned into the biggest hypocrite on this planet, even before my children had a chance to grow into wild, hormone-filled teenagers.
Wanting to give the world to my children, I insisted on providing the environment I thought was imperative for them. Sure, they were allowed to make their own choices, as long as I defined the options they could choose from. Absolutely they could choose their own friends, as long as I approved of them. Getting bad grades was not an option, and if they did, the consequences would be swift, harsh and unfair. Who they wanted to be and what they wanted to major in was their choice. Which school they attended was mine (and my husband’s).
Looking back at my experiences with friends and colleagues, I see myself being very judgmental and vocal—it was my way or the highway. I had little patience when teaching coworkers, and no tolerance for stupidity. Sometimes I was painfully honest and hurt people along the way. I always had the best intentions, but I don’t think my honesty made people feel any better.
I’m not too proud of the way I sometimes acted during my youth. Yet, I can honestly say that those years served as a stepping-stone to arrive at where I am today.
Startling Epiphany
Recently, I wrote an article that I thought was phenomenal. It covered a topic I felt very passionate about, and it seemed like the time was right to share my thoughts with the world.
I sent the article to few of my friends and, to my surprise, received a very negative response across the board. As I read their comments, I became very defensive and even more judgmental. Who were they to question my opinion on this important subject? Couldn’t they tell I was right? And besides, writing a blog on regular basis isn’t easy. I don’t see any of them doing it!
Feeling hurt and full of righteous indignation, I decided to publish the article anyway. Who cares what others would think or say? As I said earlier, my way or the highway! It was then (fortunately), that the years of experience kicked in.
As soon as I made my decision, I was overwhelmed with a foreign feeling. A little voice inside of me said to hold off on publishing the article. No particular reason; just don’t do it. Puzzled by my reaction, I decided to take a cool shower and then go out for a walk. While walking, I mentally reviewed the article and reconsidered the constructive criticism offered by my friends. In doing so, I experienced a major epiphany.
I suddenly realized that understanding and recognizing my own faults would make me less critical of others. It became evident that I could achieve a lot more through tolerance and understanding, and that negative energy is always counter-productive. It’s better to live life with a positive attitude and zest, and it’s far more rewarding to give that opportunity to others and provide them with a positive environment to do the same.
I ended up tossing the article and began work on a different one instead. I have since come to realize that the little voice inside me was none other than the voice of maturity, which only arrives after years of experience. It still feels a bit like a stranger, but as time goes by I think we will become good friends.
My grandpa always said, “You have to go through years of being stupid until you become wise.” I always believed him but I never thought it would take this long. So now I am wondering, does it take everyone 40+ years or am I just slow?
Oh well. I figure as long as I’m still learning and growing, I must be on the right track. And as the saying goes: “It’s better late then never!”
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Life's Embarassing Moments
Our house is always full of teenagers.
Every child has at least two to three close friends. Our house is always ear piercing as all of them show up for dinners, lunches, or just to vegetate out on our couch. Multiply that by four of our own kids, and the numbers become significant.
Having so many teens with a healthy appetite, I always make sure to have enough food on the table and in the fridge to keep them from eating junk food. Every night when we sit down to dinner we usually have enough food to feed ten to twelve people. However, last night we ran out of food. My son was mortified. He couldn’t believe how that was possible that people showed up and we didn’t have “enough food.”
I shrugged my shoulders and said: “That’s what happens when nine more people show up for dinner unexpectedly.” My son responded that he was still embarrassed.
If he thought that was embarrassing, I have another story to tell you.
It was a hot summer night. Our oldest daughter who occupies the bedroom downstairs was visiting her friend in college. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning thinking how hot it was. Our air-conditioning unit recently broke upstairs and I decided to go downstairs to our air-conditioned first floor to sleep in my daughter’s bedroom. As I opened her door I saw a silhouette of my son who was sleeping in her bed. I found It amusing that he too was hot and decided to come downstairs. With eyes half closed, I was about to get in bed next to him as the next door opened and my other daughter appeared dressed for work. She asked me why I was downstairs, I told her that I’ll be sleeping with her brother in our daughters bed because it was too hot upstairs.. She told me that her brother was sound asleep in his own bed, and what I saw in my daughter’s bed was his best friend who was spending the night.
I saw my daughter’s expression change as she saw my face twitch. She saw my eyes open widely and have the look of a mad woman staring back at her. The thought that I almost got in bed with my son’s best friend was beyond anything I could comprehend.
Now this can be told as a joke at a gathering or looked back as one of life’s close-call embarrassing
moments. However, at the time I wasn’t laughing.
I was just grateful for my hardworking daughter who happened to be at the right place at the right time.
Join us at Fabulously40.comas we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
Every child has at least two to three close friends. Our house is always ear piercing as all of them show up for dinners, lunches, or just to vegetate out on our couch. Multiply that by four of our own kids, and the numbers become significant.
Having so many teens with a healthy appetite, I always make sure to have enough food on the table and in the fridge to keep them from eating junk food. Every night when we sit down to dinner we usually have enough food to feed ten to twelve people. However, last night we ran out of food. My son was mortified. He couldn’t believe how that was possible that people showed up and we didn’t have “enough food.”
I shrugged my shoulders and said: “That’s what happens when nine more people show up for dinner unexpectedly.” My son responded that he was still embarrassed.
If he thought that was embarrassing, I have another story to tell you.
It was a hot summer night. Our oldest daughter who occupies the bedroom downstairs was visiting her friend in college. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning thinking how hot it was. Our air-conditioning unit recently broke upstairs and I decided to go downstairs to our air-conditioned first floor to sleep in my daughter’s bedroom. As I opened her door I saw a silhouette of my son who was sleeping in her bed. I found It amusing that he too was hot and decided to come downstairs. With eyes half closed, I was about to get in bed next to him as the next door opened and my other daughter appeared dressed for work. She asked me why I was downstairs, I told her that I’ll be sleeping with her brother in our daughters bed because it was too hot upstairs.. She told me that her brother was sound asleep in his own bed, and what I saw in my daughter’s bed was his best friend who was spending the night.
I saw my daughter’s expression change as she saw my face twitch. She saw my eyes open widely and have the look of a mad woman staring back at her. The thought that I almost got in bed with my son’s best friend was beyond anything I could comprehend.
Now this can be told as a joke at a gathering or looked back as one of life’s close-call embarrassing
moments. However, at the time I wasn’t laughing.
I was just grateful for my hardworking daughter who happened to be at the right place at the right time.
Join us at Fabulously40.comas we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.
College on almost a dime...
Raising four children very close to the same age, my husband and I always stressed over the college fees that awaited us.
By now, most of the parents know that unless you have a genius in your family, or a supper athlete, scholarship is a far fetched alternative.
I adore my children and think that they are all pretty smart and determined, but geniuses and supper athletes they are not. As they got older I realized that scholarship wasn’t the only issue. Now-days unless they have a GPA of 4.0 or greater a good university is not within their reach.
As my oldest daughter graduated from high school with a 3.6 GPA, my husband and I were elated when she was accepted to a reputable UC school. Elated and shocked, because many of her friends didn’t get in. You see 3.6 is not good enough now days.
My other daughter at about the same time announced that high school was not a place she wanted to be for the next two years, and she was determined to take a proficiency test and start attending community college.
Luckily for us, we have heard about the TAG program and thought it was a great idea. Both my son and my daughter took the proficiency exam and passed. At that time my husband and I were forced to make a decision, do we make them stay in school or allow them to go to college that year.
After few weeks of contemplation we decided that while our daughter who was 16 at the time was responsible enough to attend community college, our son, on the other hand who was 17 was to remain in school.
Fast forward a year and a half later, and I can happily report that this by all means was the right decision. Our daughter is doing great and is almost done with all of her requirements, she will have no trouble at all transferring to any UC or State school of her choice.
Our son has graduated High School and began his first year in community college. He is now much more wiser and grown up compared to last year.
If your kids are getting average grades, and not scoring supper points on the football field, I encourage you to look into this program in your community college. The program allows your child to complete two years of required units and transfer to University as a third year student. Your child has to be at least 16 years old to take the proficiency test. Even though this is probably not be the “college” experience your son or daughter is looking for, for the first two years, but it will take away not only financial burden away from you, but much of the stress on getting them into the “right” college.
Currently the only aspect of college that my husband and I stress over, is when our middle daughter transfers to the university of her choice, after two years of community college she will transfer as a Junior, which means that she will be graduating at the same time as our oldest daughter. We are now trying to figure out, who will attend who’s graduation, if they happen to be on the same day in two different cities.
But this is the kind of stress I can handle.
All the best,
Yana
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives.
By now, most of the parents know that unless you have a genius in your family, or a supper athlete, scholarship is a far fetched alternative.
I adore my children and think that they are all pretty smart and determined, but geniuses and supper athletes they are not. As they got older I realized that scholarship wasn’t the only issue. Now-days unless they have a GPA of 4.0 or greater a good university is not within their reach.
As my oldest daughter graduated from high school with a 3.6 GPA, my husband and I were elated when she was accepted to a reputable UC school. Elated and shocked, because many of her friends didn’t get in. You see 3.6 is not good enough now days.
My other daughter at about the same time announced that high school was not a place she wanted to be for the next two years, and she was determined to take a proficiency test and start attending community college.
Luckily for us, we have heard about the TAG program and thought it was a great idea. Both my son and my daughter took the proficiency exam and passed. At that time my husband and I were forced to make a decision, do we make them stay in school or allow them to go to college that year.
After few weeks of contemplation we decided that while our daughter who was 16 at the time was responsible enough to attend community college, our son, on the other hand who was 17 was to remain in school.
Fast forward a year and a half later, and I can happily report that this by all means was the right decision. Our daughter is doing great and is almost done with all of her requirements, she will have no trouble at all transferring to any UC or State school of her choice.
Our son has graduated High School and began his first year in community college. He is now much more wiser and grown up compared to last year.
If your kids are getting average grades, and not scoring supper points on the football field, I encourage you to look into this program in your community college. The program allows your child to complete two years of required units and transfer to University as a third year student. Your child has to be at least 16 years old to take the proficiency test. Even though this is probably not be the “college” experience your son or daughter is looking for, for the first two years, but it will take away not only financial burden away from you, but much of the stress on getting them into the “right” college.
Currently the only aspect of college that my husband and I stress over, is when our middle daughter transfers to the university of her choice, after two years of community college she will transfer as a Junior, which means that she will be graduating at the same time as our oldest daughter. We are now trying to figure out, who will attend who’s graduation, if they happen to be on the same day in two different cities.
But this is the kind of stress I can handle.
All the best,
Yana
Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives.
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