Gift Giving Guide

Wouldn’t it be great to have all your holiday shopping completed by the end of Thanksgiving?

Obviously it’s too late for that deadline. But if you start today, you can still get done in plenty of time and be on your way to enjoying a stress-free holiday season.

I love giving presents. In fact, I enjoy the whole process from picking a present to packaging and the actual delivery. But not everyone feels the same way. Over the years I have observed different patterns of behaviors among friends and family when it comes to gift giving for the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.

Here are four categories of gift-givers I have noticed:

1. Settlers.

This group struggles with the idea of what to get, and usually settles for the first thing they see. Their primary focus is to just to get the “chore” of gift giving out of the way.

2. Exchangers.

These people typically spend money on useless things, with the idea that if the receiver does not like the present, he or she will exchange it for something else. Exchangers usually buy their gifts in department stores and include a gift receipt to make it easy to return the item.

3.Don’t ask, don’t tellers.

These people buy presents that are not returnable. Then they package the present so that you would never know where it was purchased and would be too embarrassed to ask. Often, the present either goes to someone else you don’t really care about or ends up in your storage (a definite no-no!).

4.Scrooges.

Some people get so fed up with the process that they say, “To hell with it!” and stop giving gifts all together.

What do all four groups have in common? They all view gift giving as an unpleasant and distasteful task. However, if you fall into one on these categories, let me assure you that gift giving need not be a difficult process if it’s thought out and planned ahead.

Get Organized!

The biggest problem for most gift givers is the dilemma of the unknown -- we don’t know what to get for our loved ones. The following tips can help you choose the right gift each and every time:

•Pay attention to the details. If you’re out shopping with a friend, notice the kinds of things she picks out for herself. This will give you some good ideas on what to get for the next present.

•Make it personal. Most of us are busy and stressed out from our daily activities. A gift certificate to the spa for a massage, pedicure or manicure is an easy and welcome gift.

•Be in tune with what’s happening to the people around you. If a friend is going through some hardships and needs a “pick me up,” an inspirational CD, DVD or book makes an excellent gift. Or, if someone has an interest in a hobby, craft or artistic endeavor but can’t seem to get started, the gift of a private lesson may be just what they need to kick their creativity into gear.

My favorite gift is a gift basket, and I don’t mean the kind with lumpy cheese and stale crackers. It’s easy to put together a custom-made basket of goodies for your loved ones. All you have to do is buy the items and take them to a specialty store, where they will assemble the basket for you. If you don’t have time to shop, you can order a basket by picking and choosing the items you like.

My favorite store is Adels II, in Encino California, where everything in the store is personalized. They have items for every age, price and category, so you can’t go wrong. Most of us feel very special when we open a box to find our name or initials engraved on the present.

Another hit item is family photos that are framed or in the form of a calendar. These inexpensive gifts can be done at Kinkos or any other print shop. You can also do them online. To make the gift really memorable, arrange a private sitting with a photographer and have your photograph printed on canvas. It will look like a painted masterpiece and will be cherished for years to come.

To get organized and remain focused:

a) Make a list of everyone that you would like to give a gift to.

b) Set a budget. Whether it costs $5 or $500, each gift has to be just as special (believe me, it can be).

c) Set a date by when this gift has to be purchased.

d) Visualize how it will be packaged and sent or delivered.

e) Place a checkmark by each person’s name when their gift has been purchased. Place a second checkmark when the gift has been wrapped.

f) Review your list to see whether you have to deliver or send each gift. Not until the gift is sent or delivered can you cross the name off the list.

Finally, think how you would feel about receiving the gift. A beautifully packaged $5 Starbucks gift card with a warm greeting card will be more appreciated than a useless gift that never gets used.

When you put thought, time and love into your gift giving process, the person receiving the gift feels special and appreciated. After all, isn’t that why we give gifts in the first place?

Cheers,
Yana


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Stress Free Thanksgiving

Throughout history, harvest festivals and thanksgiving celebrations were held by the ancient Greeks, the Romans, the Hebrews, the Chinese, and the Egyptians. Centuries later, we still gather with family and friends at this time of year to say a prayer and give thanks for the earth’s bountiful blessings.

Unfortunately, the many hours of slaving in the kitchen, preparing the house for the guests and getting everything organized often makes us tired, agitated and stressed out. By the time the guests arrive, we are too worn down and out of breath to enjoy the holiday and the company of the ones we love.

This Thanksgiving, I propose something different.

For many years, the above scenario described most of my Thanksgivings. In fact, every year I drove myself (and everyone else) to exhaustion with my elaborate preparations. Worse, the stress started long before any of the guests showed up at the door.

Each year we invited 23 people, because that’s how many could fit at our formal dining room table. And that’s where the stress started. Who should we invite this year? Who will get their feelings hurt because they weren’t invited? No matter whom we invited, it seemed that someone important always got left out.

After agonizing over those decisions, the invitations then had to be designed and mailed -- another time-consuming and stressful activity. God forbid I should entertain the idea of buying ready-made invitations! No, they had to be custom designed and printed in order to be good enough for my family and friends. And of course the house had to be decorated and spotlessly cleaned.

I always began cooking three days ahead because I insisted on preparing everything from scratch, including the bread and chocolate truffles. For some reason it was not permissible to buy a loaf of the best bread or ready-made dough. Even with all the advance preparations, when Thursday arrived I was up at 5 a.m. and in the kitchen scrambling to get all the food cooked and ready to go. By the time our guests arrived at 5 pm., I was ready to tell them all off and go to sleep.

That’s when the real fun began! Someone needed this drink or that juice, this spice or that seasoning, or some other stupid thing that wasn’t on the table. I ran around in circles trying to be the perfect hostess, and when the guests finally departed, my husband and I cleaned for 24 hours.

When it was all over, the only thing I was thankful for was that I didn’t have to do it again for another 12 months!

A Baja Thanksgiving

This went on for many years, until after one particularly hectic Thanksgiving feast my husband announced that he had had enough. “From now on,” he proclaimed, “we will no longer be in town for Thanksgiving. Instead, we will celebrate this wonderful holiday somewhere outside of the country.” (That way, I would not get any ideas.)

Being an obedient wife, I obliged. My husband took the matter into his hands and we now spend every Thanksgiving weekend in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Some years our parents and friends join us; other years it’s just the six of us. We eat whole grilled fish instead of turkey, and everyone has a grand, stress-free time.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you ditch your family and friends and run away to Mexico. But ladies, please, the time has come to stop stressing ourselves out over this or any other holiday.

If you insist on staying home and cooking, make it easy on yourself. If you haven’t already heard, many grocery stores offer whole complete Thanksgiving dinners ready to go. You simply tell them how many people you need to feed and they do all the cooking for you. All you have to do is drive to the store and pick everything up on Thanksgiving Day.

If you still want to cook, don’t be afraid to cut a few corners. Buy the loaf of bread at your local bakery. No one will notice that you didn’t make it yourself. Use Pepperidge Farm ready-made stuffing and cranberry sauce in a can. If you’re making the turkey, marinate it ahead of time and place it in the fridge. Try to do as much as possible in advance so that you have nothing to do except put things in the oven on the actual day. That way, you can spend more time decorating your feast than actually cooking it.

Before your guests arrive, take a nap for 20 minutes, followed by a hot shower. Do your make up, hair and nails, and please remember why everyone is coming over. This is a holiday in which we give thanks for the things we have and the people around us. Let’s enjoy our family and friends and look forward to the next year.

Warning

This “laid-back” approach may not appeal to anyone younger than 40. (Like I said in my last article, wisdom comes slowly.) But if you’re looking for a more joyful and less stressful Thanksgiving holiday, it just might work for you.

Cheers, Yana


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How to Remember All Birthdays, Anniversaries and Holidays

Everyone likes to feel special—it’s part of our human nature! Why not develop a personal system that remembers birthdays, family and friends wedding anniversaries and a schedule that sends holiday cards on time, every year, so that the process is fun, rather than, a dreaded experience!.

Friends and acquaintances are amazed by my ability to remember everyone’s birthday or anniversary—some cannot believe that I actually have these dates written down. The days of having the ability to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday are long past (“Al” Alzheimer and I are becoming faster than I want friends these days!).. I do, however make it a point to remember and record those significant dates when I meet new acquaintances . I record a person’s birthday and mailing/email address into my Pocket PC phone device, which I later sync with my computer at home.

In the days before computers, that kind of recording was transferred year-to-year ,by hand, into my “little black book”, and honestly , I miss those times. If, for some reason you forgot a birthday, you at least had the excuse that you did not glance at your Day Timer. Now the cell phone will ring, the computer will have pop-up menus, and unless one is visually and auditory-impaired, there is no excuse TODAY!

When my first child was born, I decided that I would send a holiday card, along with her photograph, every year to all of my family and friends. My husband thought I was a bit crazy and he would say, “ . . . besides, no one appreciates all your hard work and effort,” but I strongly disagreed. Almost twenty years later (and equal number of holiday cards delivered), I can only say that as my immediate circle of family and friends grew, so too did the number of holiday cards in my mailbox. Most of my family and friends thought it was a great idea to keep in touch and they too, reciprocated by sending photographs of their growing family. And “God forbid . . . ” someone did not receive a holiday card—I would never hear the end of it!

Many years ago I designed a system for sending holiday cards on time which included the participation of the entire family. I have refined this system over the years, and by doing so I no longer have to worry about being late and stressed. Everyone of my four children remind me in November that we need to discuss the design and place the order for our cards. A few years ago, they not only ordered them, but they began designing the cards themselves—in other words they took over the process and were proud of their work—I was too! As a matter of fact, that is how my son became computer savvy—he had no choice in the matter. Each year I wanted a “unique” card, and each year ended up being better than the prior one. I certainly did not want to pay top prices for someone else to design it when I had the recourses right at home! My son’s only alternative was to learn how to work the graphs of his computer.

I promise you that if you follow these simple steps, the holiday card writing process will be very easy and rewarding for everyone in the family—it is a great activity for all ages!

Please keep in mind that Chanukah has different date of celebration every year, some times it is as early as the first week of December, because the celebration lasts eight days even if you mail out your cards on the 7th of December you will still be on time.

ORGANIZING 101:

TIMELINE

Decide as a family if you are going to use a group photograph on your holiday card. If so, make sure you take that picture no later than during the Thanksgiving break—the children are homework free and are spending lots of time at home.


* BY November 30th :Process and chose a photograph,. Print as many as needed.

* BY December 1st: Buy a “ready” card so that the photo can be pasted on. Buy cards inexpensively at Costco or any other discount store. Keep in mind you can get a “super deal” if you buy cards right after the holidays and store them for the following year—it’s a double bonus!

* BY December 3rd:Update your address book constantly throughout the year be diligent about this. If you have followed this advice you will accomplish two things; your address book is current and up-to-date; and when you need your address book during the hectic holidays you do not have to hunt down every little piece of scrape paper you secretly stored –the information is ready at a “click”.
Once you have your updated list, print out the information along with labels or envelopes that you plan to use.

* BY December 5th: One night after homework, gather your children around the dining room table (remember any child 3-years or older can participate). Place the youngest in charge of pasting the picture on the front or inside cover of the card (depending on the layout everyone agreed to). If it is a little off center—everyone you send the card to will know it was made by the loving hands of your future graphic artist-in-training,
Rachael (age 4). Have them place the labels and stamps on each envelop.

* BY December 6th: Now take this stack of “done” cards and envelops and gather around the table one last time and have everyone sign each card along with a personal greeting from you.Place each card in its’ appropriate envelope, and place a check mark on your list of names and addresses that was printed earlier. (do not seal the envelop just yet)

You are now ready to send you cards, so why are they not sealed? Well, it is only December 6th, if you are sending your cards for Christmas you have at least two weeks to get them sent out on time. What if someone had something special happen to them from the time that you addressed the card? Or what if that someone became sick, or is feeling blue? Built into this system is flexibility to add, at the last minute, words of encouragement and care.

When you seal each card (a chore that your children or grandchildren love doing), make sure to place the second check mark on the printed sheet, with the names and addresses, just to make sure that you have addressed, stamped, & sealed each card. Now, go deliver them to the post office!

Birthday and Anniversary Cards

Buying cards in bulk is a real score. Whenever I see a nice box of “Thank You”, “Birthday” or “Anniversary” cards, I buy few boxes at a time. And always remember to have plenty of stamps on hand either in a roll of 100’s or in decorative sheets.

Costco sells card sets for $15.00 dollars, and hand-made varieties for every occasion. This is a great value, and the cards are awesome!

I do not send a birthday card to everyone in my address book. Just like most of us we are all too busy. However, there are a few people in life that deserve some recognition. For those in that “special” category I take the time, placing “life” on hold for 5 minutes, and write a hand-written wish for them on their birthday or anniversary.

To do this, print your calendar on the first of each month. Select the ones that will receive cards, address them, write you wishes, place a sticker on which day the card has to be mailed, but again, do not seal the card. Remember, anything can happen between the 1st of the month to the time that you go to the post office.. This way a few special lines can be added to your greeting without having to re-write the card.

On the correct day mail the card (allow for 2 days for local delivery and 5 days for across the country), and call on the day of the birthday or anniversary. Guaranteed you will not only make their day, but yours as well!

REMEMBER—this method works if you actually follow it!

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