How to Keep Your Self-Esteem as the Years are Marching All Over Your Face.

So you turned 40.

And before you knew it, another year flew by and you’re approaching your next birthday.

As you look in the mirror, you notice that the years are making their statement, loud and clear. The skin no longer appears like you just turned 25, and the pounds are creeping in faster then you can chew. Having this daily enlightenment in front of the mirror can trigger a big depression. However, if you look from the other perspective you can (and should) take a totally different approach.

Yes, as my friend has bluntly pointed out, the years are marching all over my face, and probably yours. My reply to that is, so what?! Haven’t we earned every wrinkle?

Every muscle that is a bit loose still holds our facial expressions extremely well. So if the skin sags a little, it’s no big deal. When we were younger, it was a painful experience removing zits and getting lectured on the evils of sugar. Now we get to enjoy relaxing facial massages and soothing cleansing masks.

Of course, sugar is still our enemy, and is now accompanied by a host of starches that don’t belong in our diets. And alcohol seems to have more of a negative impact on our brains and bodies than it used to, so we should probably leave that behind as well.

On the other hand, an army of plastic sergeants eagerly awaits the opportunity cut into our skin, inject us with rat poison, and lipo fat from places we didn’t even know existed. And for the privilege of looking a few years younger, we get to pay for their services like a mortgage amortized over 30 years. Is that a deal or what!

For the disciplined, there are health clubs within walking distance of each other, preaching nutrition, exercise, aerobics and weight lifting. There are hordes of personal trainers standing by, who are more than willing (for a fee) to listen to us bitch and moan the whole hour on the exercise bike or treadmill.

And there are creams, made with exotic ingredients, for every possible situation. There are special inventions to lift your eyes, neck, breast and anything else you might think of. There are even bathing suits guaranteed to make you look 10 pounds lighter.

Today’s fashions allow us to wear just about anything, but let’s not get carried away and make fools of ourselves. It is not okay for a 40+ woman to wear a short miniskirt and think she looks “hot.” Remember—everything in moderation (and I don’t care how good your legs look!).

Fabulously40 women today are at their best. Many of us tackle new careers, run marathons and date men 15 years younger. Heck, some of us are even having kids for the first time. Regardless of the circumstances, this is our time to realize that lines on our face do not make us older, they make us stronger!

No longer do we have to buy into preconceived notions about getting older. We can be verbal about our true feelings, we can conquer any challenge, and we know that if we lasted this long, we can do just about anything. We don’t have to work harder, just smarter.

We do, however, need to remind ourselves that after 40 it’s all about us. This is our time to be “high maintenance.” As long as we allow ourselves to be just a bit more self-centered, as long as we stay focused on being positive, and as long as we try to love ourselves more than anyone else does, self-esteem will not be an issue, no matter how many wrinkles keep showing up in the mirror.

Cheers, Yana

Gravity can take it’s toll as long as we have ways to lift us up will be okay

Staying focused on What’s Really Important

At one time or another, we all have doubts, questions and concerns about our personal productivity. Most of us are overwhelmed by the responsibilities that we face daily. There are always errands to run, bills to pay, dinners to cook, lunches to make, children to worry about, and husbands or partners to attend to.

Ever since that milestone 40th birthday, it seems that time has been moving faster and faster. In order to slow down time, or at least increase my productivity, I decided to sit down and outline what is really important to me at the moment and what I should focus on.





By now, most of us know what we really want out of life. Yet, for some reason most of us don’t do much about it. As we get older, our priorities change, and I have found that taking the time to write down what’s most important can help to see the bigger picture -- and usually a clearer one, too.

A few months ago, I watched a very powerful movie called “The Secret.” What is this secret and why didn’t I hear about it 20 years ago? It has to do with the “Law Of Attraction,” meaning that we attract what we think about. Thoughts become things, and every thought has a frequency. As a result, we consciously or unconsciously attract the energy around us.

Remember the old saying, “Be careful what you wish for?” Until I watched this wonderful movie, I couldn’t comprehend its true meaning. Now I completely understand that what we want and what we believe in is what we will become.

To begin our journey to live the life we want, we need to alter a few things in our daily behavior:

First and foremost, we need to write down our goals. Goals should be divided in two columns -- immediate and future. Everyone should have goals in both categories.

Second, we need to prioritize. Prioritizing allows us to move forward and achieve success.

It’s all in the attitude. I barely stand 5’4”, and that’s on a good day. Yet, most people will tell you that I’m 5’6” or taller. Why? Because I come with the right attitude. If you’re positive, upbeat and happy, people will cling to you like bees on honey. Conversely, if you’re constantly down and miserable, no one will join your party.

Stay focused and track your progress. Set out your plan and follow it, but be realistic. If something doesn’t work, alter your plan and work through it.

Eliminate “failure” from your vocabulary. If something doesn’t work right away, view it as a stepping-stone to success rather than a permanent setback. Life has many lessons for us, and only when all of them are learned do we achieve what we set out to do. If it was easy, we wouldn’t appreciate our success.

Remove everything that interferes with your success. In other words, don’t give in to temptation or allow yourself to be distracted. If you can see it and feel it, you will own it.

Use the power of positive reinforcement. Five years ago, I would have laughed at this statement. Today I consider ongoing positive reinforcement (through self-help books, CD’s, DVD’s, tapes and positive surroundings) as the ticket to life-changing experiences.

Before going to sleep every night, think of all the wonderful things that happened to you during the day. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be a very good day.

Before getting out of bed in the morning, think of all the good things that will happen to you today.

Finally, remember that the first 30 minutes after waking should be very positive because they set the tone for the whole day. Think of how good your day will be if you sit down and write a few things that you would like to accomplish on that day. I usually write seven things that I want to achieve during the day, and when I lay down to sleep I usually smile to myself knowing that everything on that morning’s list got done. My day was a complete success -- and tomorrow looks even better!


Cheers,
Yana

Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.

Let's Stay Positive

Sometimes despite the fact when everything is going our way, we anticipate that something bad is about to happen. We even ask ourselves is to day the day?

If we could see into the future beforehand, our lives would be pain and worry free. But we can’t, can we?

Actually, we can, here is how:

Stop the negative thought process, just let it go.

Don’t get caught up in ‘”your reality” of daily overload.

Clear your mind that will allow you to make better choices.

It’s the easiest thing to be a victim. It’s so much harder to have a positive attitude at all times, but I assure you it can be done.

Let today be the day you start the positive thought process.



Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.

Epiphany

Wisdom Comes Slowly



I find it absolutely amazing how the years change not only our physical and mental condition, but our personality, stamina and spunk.

Growing up, I was always a rebel. I argued, negotiated and partied, and if the opportunity to do something forbidden presented itself, I was always first in line to do it.

Proud of my rebellious nature, I remember making a promise to myself that when I become a parent I would never restrict my kids, never preach, and never demand anything of them. Ha! As soon as I become a parent I quickly turned into the biggest hypocrite on this planet, even before my children had a chance to grow into wild, hormone-filled teenagers.

Wanting to give the world to my children, I insisted on providing the environment I thought was imperative for them. Sure, they were allowed to make their own choices, as long as I defined the options they could choose from. Absolutely they could choose their own friends, as long as I approved of them. Getting bad grades was not an option, and if they did, the consequences would be swift, harsh and unfair. Who they wanted to be and what they wanted to major in was their choice. Which school they attended was mine (and my husband’s).

Looking back at my experiences with friends and colleagues, I see myself being very judgmental and vocal—it was my way or the highway. I had little patience when teaching coworkers, and no tolerance for stupidity. Sometimes I was painfully honest and hurt people along the way. I always had the best intentions, but I don’t think my honesty made people feel any better.

I’m not too proud of the way I sometimes acted during my youth. Yet, I can honestly say that those years served as a stepping-stone to arrive at where I am today.


Startling Epiphany


Recently, I wrote an article that I thought was phenomenal. It covered a topic I felt very passionate about, and it seemed like the time was right to share my thoughts with the world.

I sent the article to few of my friends and, to my surprise, received a very negative response across the board. As I read their comments, I became very defensive and even more judgmental. Who were they to question my opinion on this important subject? Couldn’t they tell I was right? And besides, writing a blog on regular basis isn’t easy. I don’t see any of them doing it!

Feeling hurt and full of righteous indignation, I decided to publish the article anyway. Who cares what others would think or say? As I said earlier, my way or the highway! It was then (fortunately), that the years of experience kicked in.

As soon as I made my decision, I was overwhelmed with a foreign feeling. A little voice inside of me said to hold off on publishing the article. No particular reason; just don’t do it. Puzzled by my reaction, I decided to take a cool shower and then go out for a walk. While walking, I mentally reviewed the article and reconsidered the constructive criticism offered by my friends. In doing so, I experienced a major epiphany.

I suddenly realized that understanding and recognizing my own faults would make me less critical of others. It became evident that I could achieve a lot more through tolerance and understanding, and that negative energy is always counter-productive. It’s better to live life with a positive attitude and zest, and it’s far more rewarding to give that opportunity to others and provide them with a positive environment to do the same.

I ended up tossing the article and began work on a different one instead. I have since come to realize that the little voice inside me was none other than the voice of maturity, which only arrives after years of experience. It still feels a bit like a stranger, but as time goes by I think we will become good friends.


My grandpa always said, “You have to go through years of being stupid until you become wise.” I always believed him but I never thought it would take this long. So now I am wondering, does it take everyone 40+ years or am I just slow?

Oh well. I figure as long as I’m still learning and growing, I must be on the right track. And as the saying goes: “It’s better late then never!”



Join us at Fabulously40.com as we embark on our journey to the BEST part of our lives. Membership is FREE.